MUTTERINGS #70: HINDI RECORDS COLLECTION

Hi all, I have just updated my Hindi records collection. And I have also added a picture of my latest buys. I will update my English records collection in the coming days too.

MUTTERINGS #70: HINDI RECORDS COLLECTION

MUTTERINGS #69: LATEST EP ACQUISITIONS AND VINYL COLLECTION

These arrived in the mail today. Can't wait to listen and rip them but a bit disappointed I can't seem to find the titles in LPs. Does anyone know if these were produced in LPs or better still have them and could share the rips? Do let me know.

 

This is my collection thus far, with another 200 hundred yet to be alphabetised and slotted onto the shelves and over 3000 records yet to be catalogued. I can't wait to retire and get stuck into ripping all my vinyls but unfortunately I have over 20 more years to go. Unless I win lottery....woo who. Wouldn't that be lovely????

 

MUTTERINGS #69: LATEST EP ACQUISITIONS AND VINYL COLLECTION

MUTTERINGS #68: ROTFL1

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man... 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. 

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 
 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

 

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

 

 



MUTTERINGS #68: ROTFL1

MUTTERINGS #67 : ODE TO THE ENGLISH PLURAL

Ode to the writer actually.....for his/her wit and excellent command of the English language. FYI: Shim is actually a slang word in Malaysia! Any guesses???

Ode to the English Plural

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England .
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop?

MUTTERINGS #67 : ODE TO THE ENGLISH PLURAL

MUTTERINGS #66: TERE BINA.....

Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koyi, Shikwa, To Nahi,
Shikwa Nahi, Shikwa Nahi, Shikwa Nahi

Tere Bina Zindagi Bhi Lekin, Zindagi, To Nahi,
Zindagi Nahi, Zindagi Nahi, Zindagi Nahi
Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koyi, Shikwa, To Nahi

Kaash Aisa Ho Tere Qadmo Se,
Chun Ke Manzil Chale Aur Kahi
Door Kahi - 2
Tum Gar Saath Ho, Manzilo Ki Kami To Nahi
Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koyi, Shikwa, To Nahi

Jee Mein Aata Hai, Tere Daaman Mein,
Sar Jhuka Ke Ham Rote Rahe,
Rote Rahe - 2
Teri Bhi Aankho Mein, Aansuo Ki Nami To Nahi

Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koyi, Shikwa, To Nahi,
Shikwa Nahi, Shikwa Nahi, Shikwa Nahi
Tere Bina Zindagi Bhi Lekin, Zindagi, To Nahi,
Zindagi Nahi, Zindagi Nahi, Zindagi Nahi

Tum Jo Keh Do To Aaj Ki Raat,
Chaand Doobega Nahi,
Raat Ko Rok Lo -2
Raat Ki Baat Hai, Aur Zindagi Baaki To Nahi

Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koyi, Shikwa, To Nahi,
Shikwa Nahi, Shikwa Nahi, Shikwa Nahi
Tere Bina Zindagi Bhi Lekin, Zindagi, To Nahi,
Zindagi Nahi, Zindagi Nahi, Zindagi Nahi

From the movie "Aandhi" (1975), starring Sanjeev Kumar and Suchitra Sen. Playback by Lata Mangeshkar and Kishore Kumar. Music by Rahul Dev Burman and lyrics by Gulzar.

MUTTERINGS #66: TERE BINA.....

MUTTERINGS #65: HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY 2011

To all fellow Australians, and especially to the new Aussie migrants sworn in today at ceremonies all around the country, Happy Australia Day. May your barbie be always filled with snags, your beer bottle or wine glass never empty and our cricket team doing wonders on the pitch!!! Ok, ok,  two out of three ain't bad, I guess, LOL.

Also on this great day is the Indian Republic Day. I would therefore like to wish all my friends from the Indian sub-continent a very Happy Republic Day.

BTW, due to work and personal commitments, I am taking some time off from blogging. I should be back in full swing some time next month. E-mails and comments are still always welcomed.

MUTTERINGS #65: HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY 2011

MUTTERINGS #64: WHERE CAN I FIND ANOTHER...

OMG...after such a  long time I listened to one of my favourite Malay songs from my favourite Malay actor, singer, musician and director, the late Putih Ramlee, better known simply as P Ramlee. This is considered one of his best songs from his famous movie, Ibu Mertua Ku (My Mother-In-Law).

The storyline revolves around the tragic love affair between Kassim Selamat (P Ramlee), a poor musician, and Sabariah Mansur (Sarimah), an heiress of a wealthy woman. The movie is notable in that the opening act starts out as a light-hearted romantic comedy, but at the 30 minute mark turns into a dramatic tragedy. For the full story, go to WIKIPEDIA. This film is considered a Malaysian classic, and is remembered for the song "Di Mana Kan Ku Cari Ganti" (Where Can I Find Another) and the famous eye-stabbing scene during the film's climax. Enjoy the video clip. Lyrics and translation provide below.



Lyrics:

Hendak ku nangis
Tiada berair mata
Hendak ku senyum
Tiada siapa nak teman
Kalaulah nasib
Sudah tersurat
Begini hebat
Apa nak buat

Di mana kan ku cari ganti
Serupa denganmu
Tak sanggup ku berpisah
Dan berhati patah
Hidup gelisah

Alangkah pedih rasa hati
Selama kau pergi
Tinggalku sendirian
Tiada berteman
Dalam kesepian

Dunia terang menjadi gelita
Cahaya indah tiada berguna
Keluhan hatiku
Menambah derita
Namun kau jua
Tak kunjung jelma

Di mana kan ku cari ganti
Mungkinkah di syurga
Untuk kawan berduka
Menangis bersama
Selama-lama

English Translation:

I want to cry
But I have no tears
I want to smile
But there is no one to accompany
If my fate
Has been determined
To be this bad
What can I do

Where can I find another
Like you
I can't bear this parting
And heartbreak
Living in agony

My heart aches so much
Since you've been gone
Leaving me all alone
With no one
In loneliness

The bright world becomes dark
Its beautiful lights become useless
The weeping of my heart
Adds to my sorrow
But you still
Never appear

Where can I find another
Perhaps in heaven
To grief with me
To cry with me
Forever and ever

Source: P. Ramlee's Songs and Lyrics

MUTTERINGS #64: WHERE CAN I FIND ANOTHER...

MUTTERINGS #63: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

MUTTERINGS #63: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

MUTTERINGS #62: MR MEN AND LITTLE MISS...

Which one are you???

MUTTERINGS #62: MR MEN AND LITTLE MISS...

MUTTERINGS #61: THE DRUNK AND THE BIKER

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says,

"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk.

MUTTERINGS #61: THE DRUNK AND THE BIKER

MUTTERINGS #60: THE AUSTRALIAN LAWYER’S EDUCATION

Waswo X Waswo  

The son of a cocky (Australian slang for farmer) from outback Queensland goes off to study Law at university. Not half way through the semester he has blown all of his money on the high city life.

He calls home. 'Dad, you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane Uni that will teach a dog how to talk.'

'Bloody amazing!' his Dad says. 'Could we get Ol' Bluey (Blue Heeler – breed of dog) into the program?'

'No worries, just send him down here with $2000,' the young jackaroo (Australian slang for a young farmer or trainee in the agriculture field) says, 'I'll get him into the course.'

So father sends down the dog and $2000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

'Awesome Dad! He'd talk Ya bloody head off. But you just won't believe this. He's such a brilliant talker, they'd like him to have a go in the reading class!'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! Jeez, I knew he was smart. Can you get Ol' Blue into that program?'

'Just send $4500. He's as good as in.'

As quick as the money arrives, it is spent.

At the end of the term the young bloke realises a problem...When he goes home for the holidays, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So on the way home he stops and shoots the dog.

When he arrives home his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him and see him read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'It all had a bad outcome. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room reading the Wall Street Journal. Out of nowhere he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your dad still shagging that little redhead barmaid from the pub?''

The father groans and whispers, 'I'll have to shoot that bastard before he blabs to your Mother!'

'I already did, Dad!'

'Good boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.

MUTTERINGS #60: THE AUSTRALIAN LAWYER’S EDUCATION

MUTTERINGS #59: POOR BILLY…

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, executives, government workers, doctors, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too embarrassed to say."

MUTTERINGS #59: POOR BILLY…

MUTTERINGS #58: THE SMART SARDARJI

Elderly Sikh Man Riding A Bicycle.
Location: Amritsar, W. Punjab, India
Date taken: September 1946
Photographer: Margaret Bourke-White

A Sardarji (Sikh man with his full regalia) comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, what's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji. Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike. Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart; empty them out and find nothing in them but sand.

He detains the Sardarji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the Sardarji, puts the sand into new bags, heaves them on to the Sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got? 'Sand,' says the Sardarji. Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardarji, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years.

Then suddenly, the Sardarji doesn't show up and one day the guard meets him in a 'dhaba' (roadside food stall) in Lahore . 'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I haven’t had a decent night sleep in three years. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardarji, sips his lassi (yoghurt drink) and says, 'bikes'. . . . . . . . . . . .

MUTTERINGS #58: THE SMART SARDARJI

MUTTERINGS #57: HNY 2011

MUTTERINGS #57: HNY 2011

MUTTERINGS #56: WHY SOME MEN HAVE DOGS AND NOT WIVES

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up in the middle of the night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

To test this theory (at your own risk):

Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you! That is if you are game enough to try it….

MUTTERINGS #56: WHY SOME MEN HAVE DOGS AND NOT WIVES

MUTTERINGS #55: MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

To all friends and followers of

“My Music Movies and Mutterings”

Wishing you a very Happy Christmas!

MUTTERINGS #55: MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

MUTTERINGS #54: WHERE'S VEEN?

In case you are wondering (well even if you are not, smile), I haven't jumped ship or anything like that...I have been on holidays since last week in not so sunny Queensland on the Gold Coast and will return to the blog sphere after Christmas.

I am still contactable via emails, so any questions etc etc, bring them on. If I don't do an update before Christmas, I would like to wish all my fellow blog visitors and peers a very Happy Christmas. Be safe on the roads and God bless.

MUTTERINGS #54: WHERE'S VEEN?

MUTTERINGS #53: THE LITTLE FIRE-FIGHTER

A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.


The girl was wearing a fire-fighter’s helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the fire-fighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the fire-fighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren, would I?'

MUTTERINGS #53: THE LITTLE FIRE-FIGHTER

MUTTERINGS #52: FLOWERS

By Veen
Panasonic Lumix DMC TZ11

Tis my faith that every flower....

Enjoys the air it breathes!

~ William Wordsworth, "Lines Written in Early Spring" 1798

MUTTERINGS #52: FLOWERS