MUTTERINGS #60: THE AUSTRALIAN LAWYER’S EDUCATION

Waswo X Waswo  

The son of a cocky (Australian slang for farmer) from outback Queensland goes off to study Law at university. Not half way through the semester he has blown all of his money on the high city life.

He calls home. 'Dad, you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane Uni that will teach a dog how to talk.'

'Bloody amazing!' his Dad says. 'Could we get Ol' Bluey (Blue Heeler – breed of dog) into the program?'

'No worries, just send him down here with $2000,' the young jackaroo (Australian slang for a young farmer or trainee in the agriculture field) says, 'I'll get him into the course.'

So father sends down the dog and $2000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

'Awesome Dad! He'd talk Ya bloody head off. But you just won't believe this. He's such a brilliant talker, they'd like him to have a go in the reading class!'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! Jeez, I knew he was smart. Can you get Ol' Blue into that program?'

'Just send $4500. He's as good as in.'

As quick as the money arrives, it is spent.

At the end of the term the young bloke realises a problem...When he goes home for the holidays, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So on the way home he stops and shoots the dog.

When he arrives home his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him and see him read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'It all had a bad outcome. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room reading the Wall Street Journal. Out of nowhere he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your dad still shagging that little redhead barmaid from the pub?''

The father groans and whispers, 'I'll have to shoot that bastard before he blabs to your Mother!'

'I already did, Dad!'

'Good boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.