tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242305251998655749.post6564855752126421121..comments2023-05-06T00:11:32.458+10:00Comments on My Music Movies and Mutterings: MUTTERINGS #37: FIRST DATEVeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929547845937890171noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242305251998655749.post-51477925187642603042010-10-28T08:30:51.512+11:002010-10-28T08:30:51.512+11:00Hi Matthew,
Thanks for visiting and for your comm...Hi Matthew,<br /><br />Thanks for visiting and for your comment.<br /><br />Wow, Pheromones! Back to the basics...the way it is meant to be. Nature’s gift. I have to admit, that concept was one I never thought about. Thank you.<br /><br />You make some really interesting observations Matt, and you are right, if you had been prejudicial, you would have probably lost your soul mate….And this prejudice, it has been responsible for one or two bad decisions in most people’s lives, I am sure. I know it has crossed my path. <br /><br />But the premise that I agree whole heartedly with you is your observation that all women want to be desired….not only in a sexual manner but on an emotional and intellectual level. <br /><br />Beauty? Fades with time, mate and can be a curse. Just like Marilyn Monroe….she was beautiful and was desired….but at the end of the day, she still ended it all, because she did not get the one desire she wanted the most….to be loved not only for her beauty but….<br /><br />Know the look? LOL…if only I did….Veenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929547845937890171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242305251998655749.post-58287159902160482182010-10-28T05:15:29.400+11:002010-10-28T05:15:29.400+11:00It's all about smell. Pheromones play a very i...It's all about smell. Pheromones play a very important role. I believe it is the basis for love at first sight. <br /><br />Clean, no scents, venue appropriate dress is the place to start. Mute the wrinkled clothes phobia. Guys are easily trained. If the guy comes with an unpressed shirt (and you otherwise are attracted to him), tell him that it is a turn off for you, and see what happens next time. The test is if he listens and tries to make you happy. I've actually bought brand new shirts because I couldn't iron with crap.<br /><br />Like a frog that can't see a fly that is not moving (the brain actually does not register the fly), men see things differently. <br /><br />I think Steve has it wrong. My last relationship lasted 8+ years, and ended for external reasons (she was sued by my kids mother for instance). She purposely wore "frumpy" clothes on our first date to hide her "assets". She wanted to downplay her looks and body to see how I otherwise reacted. If I had let wardrobe play a factor, I would have missed meeting one of my soul mates (no kidding). The thing was, her clothes were the least important thing that night. Maybe she just smelled right, but she really made a permanent impression. <br /><br />Really great guys can be idiots about many things. Don't eliminate a guy that "smells right" for things that are easily corrected. <br /><br />Conversation is a skill that not all (especially men) have mastered. The first dates are really a mating dance. Your ears will tell you if you are compatible on an intellectual level, but your other senses will tell you more.<br /><br />Be open to the "opposites attract" thing. Being able to have civil and rational conversations about subjects where you have different opinions is the key to making these work. "Agreeing to disagree" will not work. Each has to want to hear the others thoughts and feelings.<br /><br />You will know within seconds if your first date "rings your bell". The thing that is important is to be emotionally available. We sense these things with no real facts to support our feelings.<br /><br />Over the long term, sex is incredibly important. You can get everything else, including conversation, from friends, but no one else can give you the feeling that you just can't wait to get his/your clothes off.<br /><br />I have had relationships where we could talk all night, and others where just being together was enough. The best part of my last relationship, and what I really miss, was morning espresso. I would get up and make coffee and sit in the chair next to her side of the bed every morning before showers and getting dressed for work. We would talk about everything and nothing for the time it took to drink our lattes. Those moments were as intimate as anything else we did, even though we did not look or even small our best first thing in the morning.<br /><br />All women want to feel desired. They want to see the look of hunger (for her) in their beau's eyes. I am sure a beauty like you knows the look. Their love fades quickly when they don't feel desired anymore.<br /><br />You (we) need someone that adores you. <br /><br />blah blah blah. I've rambled on long enough.Matthew Ormehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09445426611108947590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242305251998655749.post-69345086282234721172010-10-25T18:31:59.236+11:002010-10-25T18:31:59.236+11:00Thank you, thank you, thank you Steve, for getting...Thank you, thank you, thank you Steve, for getting the ball rolling. I am with you on conversation mate...that's the clincher for me. <br /><br />Sweats? Ouch. That's really taking the term casual to the extreme. I have this thing about un-ironed garments. You one can't be bothered, purchase garments that don't need ironing.<br /><br />Your last para...totally spot on. Again, thanks for your opinion.Veenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929547845937890171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242305251998655749.post-56453605868923256362010-10-25T16:56:59.791+11:002010-10-25T16:56:59.791+11:00Okay, here goes. I believe conversation is the key...Okay, here goes. I believe conversation is the key to how a relationship develops. You can dress well, be an executive ... but if you cannot hold a conversation, you have lost me. What a person has to say reveals a lot about them. Sometimes, too much. Casual conversation for the first date is crucial. I find intense conversation - my ex or their exes - put me and them off.<br /><br />I say dressing well is important for that first date. I was put off by a woman who came to a date in sweats. I was also put off by a woman who dressed in less. Keep all this for the time when we know each other better. Dressing well, by the way, does not mean tuxedos or gowns. Jeans will do. If you want to wear a gown, by all means. Just dress appropriately.<br /><br />These are the two things I find are important for that first date. For the second date on, anything goes. I find that being comfortable with a woman on the first date, and her with me, lends to a better, more open second date.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02775451264849757715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242305251998655749.post-22540734688127214012010-10-25T14:34:00.628+11:002010-10-25T14:34:00.628+11:00Ok, I am cheating here. This is a comment by Veen....Ok, I am cheating here. This is a comment by Veen. Why is it people shy away from the issue of dating, love etc. I hope by seeing a comment in the comment box, I could get the discussion rolling. You can remain anonymous if you chose....just get into the spirit of discussion.Veenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929547845937890171noreply@blogger.com