Monday, August 30, 2010

MUSIC #39: A SWINGING SAFARI WITH BERT KAEMPFERT AND JAMES LAST – THE WORLD OF JAMES LAST LP 2 (INSTRUMENTAL)


The second LP from this collection of nine LPs box set in this Reader’s Digest/Polydoor compilation is by James Last. Very much Latin in flavour and my favourites include Granada, Canadian Sunset (makes for a good burlesque performance, LOL), I left my heart in San Francisco, Guantanemera and April in Portugal. And don’t forget to check out James’ bio HERE.

My verdict: Four stars.


The World Of James Last – LP 2

Side One

1. Granada

2. Mexico City

3. Canadian Sunset

4. That's Life

5. Espana

6. (I Left My Heart) In San Francisco

Side Two

1. Guantanamera

2. April In Portugal

3. Havah Nagilah

4. The Pearl Fishers

5. Malaguena

6. Around The World


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MUTTERINGS #20: HOW TO EXTRACT RAR MUSIC FILES


I have had a few web friends asking me how to enjoy the music on my blog, in fact most music blogs these days. Instead of uploading individual songs in mp3 format, to save time and bandwith, most people now compress music albums into one individual RAR file. However, to hear the music, the file must first be "extracted".

Therefore, a RAR file is not a multimedia file, but rather a zip file that contain one or more compressed files. In the case of my RAR file, it is mp3 songs. To listen to RAR files, you need to "extract" the mp3 files from the .rar archive and then play them as you would on windows media player or iTunes.

First you need to buy or download the RAR extractor file. Do a Google search on ‘free RAR extrators’ or use this link I found HERE. Download the RAR extractor and save it in your DOWNLOADS folder. Go to your DOWNLOADS folder (make sure you are logged in as the administrator) and right click the file downloaded and RUN the file. Install it in your PROGRAMS folder.


Then, download the music from my site (or any site/s that uses RAR) and save it in your MUSIC folder. Open your MUSIC folder and find the RAR file - the icon will look like a pile of BOOKS (see picture above). Right click on the RAR file and find a command that says or starts with ‘extract to ......’ . A window will quickly open and ‘unzip’ the file. You don’t need to do anything at this stage. The unzip file will look the same as the other music files and will have the same name (but with a .mp3 extension instead) as the RAR file. Just click on the file and it will open with your default music software. I hope this make sense. Or you can try this site for more info: Ezine Articles.

Happy listening.
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Friday, August 27, 2010

MUSIC #38: HOTEL 1981 (HINDI OST)


I can’t remember watching this movie in the 1980’s but then god only knows how many Hindi movies I have actually watched in my lifetime, so forgetting a few could be quite understandable. Also in trying to find some info on the movie, most of the reviews (bar one) gave rather negative feedback on the plot of the movie. So, that could be the reason I don’t remember it...who knows??

Hotel the movie is directed by brothers Shyam and Tulsi Ramsay, and it is supposedly a horror film, revolving around the building of a hotel (hence the title “Hotel”…okay, I am being a ‘duh’ here) on a cemetary. Need I say more? It seems that everything that can be included in a B-grade movie is included in this movie. The movie stars Navin Nischol, Rakesh Roshan, Bindiya Goswami, Ranjeet and Prema Narayan.

Having said this, do not let this deter you from listening to this soundtrack by Usha Khanna (she also sings three songs) and lyrics by Indiwar. To be honest, not many songs from the 1980’s take my fancy as I find them pretty ordinary (most disco music just don’t do it for me) but this definitely isn’t the case with Hotel. “Pyar Karte Hai Hum” is a lovely emotional composition sung just right by Asha Bhosle. Then there’s the token disco song of the 80’s in the form of “Tere Jaisa Pyara Koi Nahin” performed by the beautiful but underated Prema Narayan in the movie. “Dekho Pyar Men Aesa Nahin Karte” has a lovely zippy beat and is my favourite from the album. And I just love the bongo beat intro and ‘meow’ in “Kaun Yeh Aya Mehfil Men”. And then there’s the two versions of “Jeena Hai To Jee Bhar Hanslo”…..To live, make sure you laugh with all your might; (as) life is just for two days, who knows what may happen tomorrow….how true!

If I have to fault this album, it is to do with the music tracks. Usha did a tremendous job with them but unfortunaley did not make both tracks long enough. WHAT A PITY! And I wonder why?


My verdict: Four stars

Hotel 1981: The Original Soundtrack

Side One

1. Pyar Karte Hai Hum – Asha Bhosle and Manhar

2. Tere Jaisa Pyara Koi Nahin – Usha Khanna

3. Jeena Hai To Jee Bhar Hanslo (M) – Amit Kumar

4. Music 1 - Instrumental

Side Two

1. Dekho Pyar Men Aesa Nahin Karte – Amit Kumar and Alka Yagnik

2. Kaun Yeh Aya Mehfil Men – Amit Kumar and Usha Khanna

3. Jeena Hai To Jee Bhar Hanslo (F) – Usha Khanna

4. Music 2 – Instrumental



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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

MUSIC #37: A SWINGING SAFARI WITH BERT KAEMPFERT AND JAMES LAST – THE WORLD OF BERT KAEMPFERT LP 1 (INSTRUMENTAL)


Here’s the first LP from my collection of nine LPs box set in this Reader’s Digest/Polydoor compilation. Plenty of great music from Bert K to suit anyone’s music palate. Don’t forget to check out his bio HERE.

My verdict: Four stars.


The World Of Bert Kaempfert – LP 1

Side One

1. A Swingin' Safari

2. Spanish Eyes

3. Wimoweh

4. The Portuguese Washerwoman

5. Wiederseh'n

6. Cha Cha Brazilia

Side Two

1. Tahitian Sunset

2. Danke Schoen

3. Poinciana

4. A Nighingale Sang In Berkeley Square

5. Skokiaan

6. The Japanese Farewell Song


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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

MUTTERINGS #19: A SWINGING SAFARI WITH BERT KAEMPFERT AND JAMES LAST – THE LAST OF THE INSTRUMENTALISTS


Before kicking off with my next lot of Western LP postings, which are a nine LP box set compiled by Reader’s Digest and Polydor, of music conductors and songwriters Bert Kaempfert and James Last, I thought I’d post a mini bio of them as an intro.


“If people know my tunes, that’s enough. My music says everything I have to say” ~ Bert Kaempfert

Berthold Heinrich Kaempfert aka Bert Kaempfert (born 16 October 1923 in Hamburg, Germany) was a German music conductor and songwriter. A son of a painter and decorator, he was renowned for his easy listening and jazz music, and wrote the music for a number of well-known songs (for well known singers), such as "Strangers in the Night" (Ivo Robić) "Spanish Eyes" (Al Martino), "LOVE" (Nat King Cole), "I Can’t help Remembering You" (Dean Martin) and "Lonely Is The Name" (Sammy Davis Jr), to name a few. His famous instrumentals include "Afrikaan Beat", "A Swingin' Safari" and "That Happy Feeling" (which has been made into a Hindi song – a source of my sleepless nights not too long ago – long story - "Aap Ka Chehra" from the movie "Rootha Na Karo").


And he was only six years old when perhaps fate laid the first stepping stone on his path to an international career – in the guise of an accident with a taxi cab. The cab driver ran little Bert down and was ordered to pay 500 deutschmarks in damages, a small fortune in those days, and to which Mother Kaempfert decided that Bert was having a piano!


Bert studied music at the Hamburg School of Music and being a multi-instrumentalist, he was hired by Hans Busch to play with his orchestra before serving as a bandsman in the German Navy during World War II. He later formed his own big band, and wrote music for Freddy Quinn and Ivo Robić. In 1961, he hired The Beatles to back Tony Sheridan for an album called My Bonnie. The album and its singles, released by Polydor, were the Beatles' first official and commercially released recordings.


The list of the solo artists who scored success after international success with Kaempfert's inimitable compositions reads like a Who's Who of light music: Frank Sinatra, Al Martino and Dean Martin, Ella Fitzgerald and Shirley Bassey, Sarah Vaughan and Peggy Lee, Nat King Cole, Herb Alpert and Johnny Mathis, Brenda Lee, Caterina Valente, Andy Williams and Nancy Wilson – to name but a few.


On 21 June 1980, the world lost one of its best conductors and songwriters. Bert Kaempfert passed away, the result of a stroke suffered on Mallorca. He was just fifty-six years of age. The music world mourns his sudden and untimely death.

Source: Wikipedia and Kaempfert


James Last (also known as "Hansi") born Hans Last on 17 April 1929 in Bremen Germany is another great German composer and big band conductor.


James’ father was an official at the public works department of the city of Bremen. Like Bert, he learned to play the piano but then switched to double bass as a teenager. His home city was heavily bombed in World War II and he ran messages to air defence command posts during raids. At 14 he was entered into the Bückeburg Military Music School of the German Wehrmacht.


After WW II, he joined Hans-Gunther Österreich's Radio Bremen Dance Orchestra. In 1948, he became the conductor of the Last-Becker Ensemble, which performed for seven years. During that time, he was voted the best bassist in the country by a German jazz poll for three consecutive years (1950–1952). After the Last-Becker Ensemble disbanded, he became the in-house arranger for Polydor Records, as well as for a number of European radio stations. For the next decade, he helped arrange hits for artists like Helmut Zacharias, Freddy Quinn, Lolita, Alfred Hause and Caterina Valente.


James first released albums in the U.S. under the titles "The American Patrol" on Warner Brothers in 1964. He also released a series of nine albums in a series called "Classics Up To Date vols. 1–9", which were arrangements of classical melodies with strings, rhythm and wordless chorus from the mid sixties through the early seventies. James released an album, "Non-Stop Dancing", in 1965, a recording of brief renditions of popular songs, all tied together by an insistent dance beat. It was a hit and helped make him a major European star. James Last has released over 190 records, including several more volumes of "Non-Stop Dancing".


Although his concerts and albums are consistently sought after, he has only had two hit singles with "The Seduction", the theme from American Gigolo (1980) and "Biscaya" from the album Biscaya. Over the course of his career, he has sold well over 100 million albums. At 81, James Last still performs and his concert dates can be found on his official website HERE.
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Monday, August 23, 2010

MUTTERINGS #18: THE IMPORTANCE OF PROOF READING


Is proof reading is a dying art? You would think so after reading these news headlines!

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MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER!

This was posted in the San Gabriel Valley Tribune. It took three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! A correction was put in the next day.

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I just couldn't help laughing with this one. Too funny…

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

Really? Ya think?

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POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

Now that's taking things a bit far!

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PANDA MATING FAILS - VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

What a guy!

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MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so's!

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JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

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WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

I can see where it might have that effect!

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IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE

Duh?!
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COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

Who would have thought?

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ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN - POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

They may be on to something here!

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RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? What is this wonder material?

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NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

Weren't they fat enough?!

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ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

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LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

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HOSPITAL SUED BY SEVEN FOOT DOCTORS

My, aren’t they tall?

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And the winner is....

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD!

Did I read that right?

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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this post link to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

Veen.
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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

MUSIC #36: GIPSY KINGS – GIPSY KINGS 1988 (LATIN)


Gipsy Kings is a Spanish-language music group from France. The group members are all related and are descendants of the Gitanos (Spanish Romani/Gypsy people) who fled Catalonia (in Spain) during the 1930s Spanish Civil War, with the exception of one band member (Chico Bouchikhi) who is not related and is of Algerian and Moroccan descent.

The members of the Gipsy Kings are:

• Nicolas Reyes: lead vocals, guitar

• Paul Reyes: backup vocals, guitar

• Canut Reyes: backup vocals, guitar

• Patchai Reyes: backup vocals, guitar

• Andre Reyes: backup vocals, guitar

• Diego Baliardo: guitar

• Paco Baliardo: guitar

• Tonino Baliardo: lead guitar

• Chico Bouchikhi. He quit after the second album, Mosaique.

The self titled album, Gipsy Kings was their first album and both the record and the band became an instant hit. Hits from the album include Bamboleo (my favourite), Djobi Djoba and Un Amor. They broke records in France, Europe and the Middle East with this album in 1988. In 1989, Gipsy Kings was released in the United States and it spent 40 weeks on the charts, one of very few Spanish language albums to do so. Gipsy Kings' total album sales worldwide now exceed 18 million copies.

If you like Flamenco, Rumba and Romani (Gypsy) style music, then you will enjoy the Gipsy Kings. My verdict: 3.5 stars


Trivia: The Gipsy Kings are featured in the latest Disney-Pixar movie, Toy Story 3. Their Spanish rendition of "You've Got of Friend In Me" is featured at the closing credits and can be found on the movie's soundtrack. The movie was released 18 June, 2010.

Gipsy Kings: Gipsy Kings 1988

Side One

1. Bamboleo

2. Tu Quieres Volver

3. Moorea

4. Bem, Bem, Maria

5. Un Amor

6. Inspiration

Side Two

1. A Mi Manera (My Way)

2. Djobi Djoba

3. Faena (A Tribute To Mr Charles Demery)

4. Quiero Saber

5. Amor, Amor

6. Duende


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Sunday, August 15, 2010

MUSIC #35: PREETAM 1971 (HINDI EP OST)


One of Shammi Kapoor’s lesser known starrers but still with the trade mark music synonymous with his style and films. It also stars Leena Chandravakar, the beautiful Helen, Mehmood and a very young and handsome Vinod Khanna. I have been trying to find the LP for a long time but have never seem to come by one. Not sure how many songs are in the movie (been that long since I watched it) and for all I know, it may have only been released as an EP. Someone please let me know if this is the contrary.

The music from this movie is by Shankar-Jaikishan and lyrics by Rajinder Krishan and Hasrat Jaipuri. I can’t decide which songs I like the most; they are all so wonderful; although I am quite partial to Hum Bhi Shikari as Helen is just awesome in the song clip . I give it 4 stars +.


 Preetam 1971: The Original Soundtrack EP

 Side One
  1. Charche Gali Gali – Lata Mangeshkar
  2. Chal Suhani – Mohd Rafi
Side Two
  1. Sher Se Ladne Aayee – Mohd Rafi and Chorus
  2. Hum Bhi Shikari – Asha Bhosle and Chorus

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

MUSIC #34: ALISON MOYET – ALF 1984 (ENGLISH)


Alison Moyet, born Geneviève Alison Jane Moyet on 18 June 1961, is an English pop singer-songwriter. She was involved in a number of punk rock, pub rock and blues bands in the South East Essex area during the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Her mainstream pop career began in 1981 when she formed the electro pop duo Yazoo with former Depeche Mode member Vince Clarke. Yazoo had several hits, including Only You, Don't Go, Situation and Nobody's Diary, and recorded two albums, Upstairs at Eric's and You and Me Both.

In 1983, Moyet and Clarke decided to disband Yazoo. Alison embarked on a solo career and released her debut album, Alf in 1984. The record was a hit in Britain, reaching #1 in the album chart. Alf spawned three international hit singles, Love Resurrection (UK #10), Invisible (UK #21) and All Cried Out (UK #8). In the US, "Invisible" was a Top 40 hit (something Yazoo had never achieved).

My verdict: 4 stars and my favourites include All Cried Out and Love Resurrection. It’s a great album, with something in it to please everyone - from soft pop to ballads, all made so good with Alison's emotive and ruminative voice. You could not have asked for a better debut album.


Alison Moyet: Alf 1984

Side One

1. Love Resurrection

2. Honey For The Bees

3. For You Only

4. Invisible

5. Steal Me Blind

Side Two

1. All Cried Out

2. Money Mile

3. Twisting The Knife

4. Where Hide Sleep



PS: This album is for my friend, Bollywood Deewana.
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Friday, August 13, 2010

MOVIE #06: THE MAID 2005 (ENGLISH)


During the Chinese Seventh Month, the gates of hell open and spirits are let loose upon an unsuspecting world. For 30 days, the dead walk among the living. To protect themselves, mortals devise rules: Do not swim during the Seventh Month; do not turn your back at night when someone calls out your name; do not talk to strangers on a deserted stretch of road and do not sweep away any offerings to the dead. Be careful, be very careful....

The Maid is a 2005 English-Singaporean horror film (written and directed by Kelvin Teoh) centred on a Filipino maid Rosa, who arrives from the Philippines to work for a Chinese opera musician family, the Teos. She arrives during the Taoist seventh month of the “Hungry Ghost Celebrations”, where she has to quickly familiarise herself to the customs and taboos connected to the Hungry Ghost month and superstitions of her new ‘family’. See the article on Wikipedia HERE for a summation on the Chinese Hungry Ghost Month.

Her employers, the middle age and gentle Mr and Mrs Teo care for her well and their mentally-handicapped son Ah Soon also takes to Rosa. However unbeknown to her, she had unwittingly broken many rules on the first few days of the Hungry Ghost Month. Weird things begin to happen to Rosa. She sees horrific images and senses that someone is watching her. It is another maid who lives across from her and when Rosa tries to speak to her, she always avoids a meeting with Rosa.

Rosa soon corners the girl and finds out that Rosa had a predecessor that used to work for the Teos, Ester, who mysteriously disappeared. The story now takes an interesting turn. From the weird, things begin to get sinister. To find out what happened to Ester and Ester’s connection to Rosa and the Teos, I urge you to watch ‘The Maid’.

Note: The Maid broke the box office record in Singapore for the horror genre, making S$700,000 on its opening weekend.

It won the European Fantastic Film Festival Federation (EFFFF) Asian Film Award at the 10th Puchon International Fantastic Film Festival (PiFan). The EFFFF Asian Film Award is a prize awarded to the best Asian film of the year by the federation, of which PiFan is a supporting member.

The movie stars Filipino superstar Alessandra de Rossi (Rosa), Hong Huifang (Mrs Teo), Chen Shucheng (Mr Teo) and newcomer Benny Soh (Ah Soon).

My verdict: 4 star.


PS: Just thought I'd better remind you, it's Friday the 13th today!
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

MUSIC #33: SATYAM SHIVAM SUNDARAM – LOVE SUBLIME 1978 (HINDI OST)


Satyam Shivam Sundaram (God is Truth and Beautiful) the movie was directed by Raj Kapoor and starred his brother Shashi Kapoor and the alluring Zeenat Aman. The film caused major controversies in India, particularly with the Indian Film Censor Board for its risqué scenes and sheerness of the lead actress’ attire. Director Raj Kapoor is known throughout Bollywood for ‘exploiting’ the female form in his movies.

As the story depicts the relationship between inner and outer beauty, most of the music from the movie is very spiritual in nature but mixed with aspects of traditional Bollywood music that appealed to the masses then and now. It was no wonder that music directors Laxmikant-Pyarelal won the “Filmfare Best Music Director Award” for the OST. Also, legendary singer Lata Mangeshkar took the title song “Satyam Shivam Sundaram” to the top 10 of the Indian “Geetmala” charts for 1977. The lyrics for the album are by Pandit Narendra Sharma (who was also nominated as Best Lyricist for the song “Satyam Shivam Sundaram”), Anand Bakshi and Vitthal Bhai Patel.

My favourite from this soundtrack include “Satyam Shivam Sundaram”, “Chanchal Sheetal Nirmal Komal” and “Bhor Bhaye Panghat Pe”. My verdict: Four stars.


Satyam Shivam Sundaram – Love Sublime 1978: The Original Soundtrack

Side One

1. Satyam Shivam Sundaram I – Lata Mangeshkar and Chorus
2. Yashomati Maiya Se Bole Nandlala – Lata Mangeshkar and Manna Dey
3. Bhor Bhaye Panghat Pe – Lata Mangeshkar
4. Who Aurat Hai Too Mehbooba – Lata Mangeshkar and Nitin Mukesh

Side Two

1. Chanchal Sheetal Nirmal Komal – Mukesh and Chorus
2. Suni Jo Unke Aane Ki Aahat – Lata Mangeshkar and Chorus
3. Yashomati Maiya Se Bole Nandlala – Lata Mangeshkar
4. Saiyan Nikas Gaye – Lata Mangeshkar and Bhupinder
5. Satyam Shivam Sundaram II – Lata Mangeshkar and Chorus


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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

MUTTERINGS #17: THE LOST DR. SEUSS POEM - I LOVE MY JOB!


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Friday, August 6, 2010

MUSIC #32: THE BEATLES – HELP! 1965 (ENGLISH OST)


This is one of my treasured albums and can you believe that I got this album, along with 50 other misc. records FOC from a dear old lady wanting to get rid of her husband’s old vinyl collection. Well, at least it is going to a house that appreciates good music.

Now to The Beatles and the album.

The Beatles were an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960. Initially, The Beatles comprised of band members John Lennon (rhythm guitar, vocals), Paul McCartney (bass guitar, vocals), George Harrison (lead guitar, vocals), Stuart Sutcliffe (bass) and Pete Best (drums). Sutcliffe left the group in 1961 and Best was replaced by Ringo Starr the following year.

The Beatles achieved success in the United Kingdom in late 1962 with their first single, "Love Me Do". Their next single, "Please Please Me" received better recognition and was released as an album in March 1963 with ten tracks. It reached number one on the British charts. In April the same year, they released their third single, "From Me to You", and it too was a chart-topping hit. Thus began an almost unbroken run of seventeen British number one singles for the band, including all but one of those released over the next six years. On its release in August, the band's fourth single, "She Loves You", achieved the fastest sales of any record in the UK up to that time, selling three-quarters of a million copies in less than four weeks.

The year 1964 saw the release of The Beatles’ first movie, “A Hard Day’s Night” (directed by Richard Lester) and it was an international success. The success led to United Artist doing another movie deal with The Beatles and with Richard Lester once again directing. Help! was The Beatles’ second movie and is a spoof from the Bond spy movies. Lennon sang and wrote majority of the songs in the album, including the two hit singles "Help!" and "Ticket to Ride". The accompanying album, the group's fifth studio LP, again contained a mix of original material and covers. Help! saw the band making increased use of vocal overdubs and incorporating classical instruments into their arrangements, notably the string quartet on the pop ballad "Yesterday". Composed by McCartney, "Yesterday" would inspire the most recorded cover versions of any song ever written.

Produced by George Martin for EMI's Parlophone Records, Help! the album contains fourteen songs, seven of which appeared in the film Help!. These songs are on the first side of the album and included the singles "Help!" and "Ticket to Ride". The second side contained seven other releases including the most covered song ever written, "Yesterday".

In 2003, the album was ranked number 332 on the Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 greatest albums of all time.

My verdict: Five stars



The Beatles: HELP! 1965

Side One – Songs from the film “HELP!”

1. Help

2. The Night Before

3. You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away

4. I Need You

5. Another Girl

6. You’re Going To Lose That Girl

7. Ticket To Ride

Side Two

1. Act Naturally

2. It’s Only Love

3. You Like Me Too Much

4. Tell Me What You See

5. I’ve Just Seen A Face

6. Yesterday

7. Dizzy Miss Lizzy


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Thursday, August 5, 2010

MUTTERINGS #16: WHAT DOES 10 YEARS OF E-DU-MA-CA-TION GET YOU?


The following questions are reputed to be set in last year’s General Educational Development or GED examinations (for American and Canadian High School students). Students must receive a score of 60 per cent and above to pass the GED which then certifies that the students have achieved the American or Canadian high school-level academic skills.

These are (supposedly) the answers from the 16 year olds taking the exams. Yes, feel worried, very worried. This could be the next President of the United States of America (and we all know that this is possible – George “Double-U” Bush is living proof of that!!!).

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Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

(Does this mean one would have to strip to buy a house?)

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

(Oh my…In most democratic countries, this happens only once every four years! Not good news for population growth.)

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs?

(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

(At least it gives you the chance to travel!)

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

(I like this one)

Q. What is artificial insemination?

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

(Isn’t this what happens to the sheep in New Zealand?)

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?

A. Keep it in the cow!

(Duh….what a stupid question!)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.

The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U.

(WTF????)

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie.

(Chuckle)

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby.

(LOL)

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor.

(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport.

(Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

(OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

(Brilliant!)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

(Ohhhh….must be cool up there….)


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Monday, August 2, 2010

MUSIC #31: HEER RAANJHA 1970 (HINDI OST)


Heer Raanjha is a tragic romance originating from Punjab (part of this state is in India and in Pakistan). There are several versions of the story, the most famous being the poem by Waris Shah written in 1766. It tells the story of beautiful Heer (from the village of Jhang, in modern day Punjab, Pakistan) who falls in love with Raanjha but the liaison is cut short by Heer’s jealous and crippled uncle, Kaido. Heer is forced to marry another man but the wedding is annulled when she tells her ‘husband’ that the marriage was against her wishes (the kadi, or priest was bribed by her uncle) and that she loves another. To cut a long story short, both Heer and Raanjha were to marry with the blessing of both families, except Kaido, who was not willing to accept his ‘lost of face’ due to Heer’s first marriage fiasco. Kaido poisons Heer on her wedding day and Raanjha, not being able to save her, also takes the poison (which was in an Indian dessert called a laddu) and the lovers die side by side. Heer and Raanjha are buried in Heer's hometown of Jhang and till today, it is said that lovers often pay respect at their mausoleum.

Not only have there been several versions of the Heer Raanjha story, there have also been several versions of film adaptation too. This version, filmed in 1970, is by director Chetan Anand (brother of actor Dev Anand) and stars legendary actor Raaj Kumar as Raanjha and Priya Rajvansh as Heer. Actor Pran plays the villan Kaido. This film is unique than the other adaptations that its dialogue is all in verse. Chetan also used the Waris Shah version as the basis of his adaptation.

The music for Heer Raanjha is by Madan Mohan and lyrics (also some of the verse-dialogue) is by Kaifi Azmi, who also wrote some of the lyrics for the movie Pakeezah (see my review HERE). The film also showcases some of the best dialogues from the actor Raaj Kumar and in my opinion, one of Mohammad Rafi’s best songs ever, “Yeh Duniya, Yeh Mahifil”. I am surprised that this song did not win any awards. I have inserted some of the more notable dialogues (which I have copied from the movie) as bonus tracks to the album. Hope you enjoy them.

My rating: Four star plus….one of my favourite ‘tragedy’ movies and song albums although Priya’s acting in this movie is quite abominable! She makes up for it with her beauty though...


Heer Raanjha 1970: The Original Soundtrack

Side One

1. Meri Duniya Men – Mohd Rafi , Lata Mangeshkar, Raaj Kumar and Priya Raajvansh

2. Yeh Duniya Yeh Mehfil – Mohd Rafi

3. Doli Chadhte Heer Ne Bain Kiye – Lata Mangeshkar and Chorus

4. Jo Mama Mera Aa Jaega – Hemlata, Krishna Kalle, Usha Timothy, Balbir and Chorus

Side Two

1. Milo Na Tum To – Lata Mangeshkar

2. Tere Kooche Men Tera Diwana – Mohd Rafi

3. Do Dil Toote Do Dil Hare – Lata Mangeshkar

4. Naache Ang Ve – Shamshad Begum, Jagjit Kaur, Noor Jehan and Chorus;

Bonus Tracks

1. Dialogue: Heer Raanjha Opening Dialogue and Title Song – Chetan Anand and Instrumental

2. Dialogue: To Have You Is Life (M) – Raaj Kumar

3. Dialogue: We Will Die Together – Raaj Kumar and Priya Rajvansh

4. Dialogue: To Have You Is Life (F) and Fair (Mela) Music – Priya Rajvansh and Instrumental

5. Dialogue: Heer Denounces Her Marriage – Priya Rajvansh

6. Dialogue: Closing – Chetan Anand


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